Why Do I Feel Overwhelmed All The Time?

If you've found yourself asking, "Why do I feel overwhelmed all the time?", I just want to start by saying that you're certainly not alone. It's actually one of the most common things women share with me, whether that's through messages, inside the Resiliently App, or after listening to the podcast. And truthfully, it's a question I've asked myself more times than I can count too.

The thing about overwhelm is that it doesn't always arrive after something big has happened. Sometimes it quietly becomes your normal. You wake up already thinking about everything you need to remember, spend the day moving from one task to the next, and fall into bed wondering why you're so exhausted when, from the outside, your day probably looked pretty ordinary.

Maybe you got the kids to school. You replied to a few emails. You folded some washing, picked up groceries, cooked dinner and kept everyone alive. On paper, nothing dramatic happened. But inside your mind, it probably felt like there were a hundred tabs open all at once, each one reminding you of something else you hadn't quite finished yet.

If that's where you're finding yourself lately, I really want you to hear this.

There is nothing wrong with you.

I think we often assume overwhelm must mean we're not coping very well, or that we just need to become more organised. But I've started looking at it a little differently. More often than not, overwhelm isn't a sign that you're failing. It's simply a sign that you've been carrying far more than one person was ever meant to carry.

One of the hardest parts is that so much of what we're carrying is completely invisible.

People see the school drop-off, the grocery shopping, the lunchboxes, the washing and the dinners you've somehow managed to pull together. What they don't see is the constant mental checklist quietly running in the background. The birthday present you still need to organise. The permission slip sitting on the kitchen bench. The appointment you need to remember to book. The message you still haven't replied to. The bills due next week. The growing feeling that you should really do something for yourself... if only there was time.

None of those things seem particularly overwhelming on their own. It's just one text message. One appointment. One load of washing. One decision about what's for dinner.

But motherhood rarely hands us one thing at a time.

It hands us hundreds.

And eventually those hundreds of tiny responsibilities begin stacking on top of each other until even the smallest inconvenience feels like the thing that's going to tip us over the edge.

Have you ever found yourself crying because someone spilt the milk, or because you couldn't find your keys?

It usually isn't about the milk.

Or the keys.

They're simply the final straw that lands on a pile that was already far too heavy.

I also think this is why so many women carry guilt alongside their overwhelm. We look around and tell ourselves, "But my life isn't that hard." We remind ourselves that other people are dealing with far bigger challenges. We feel guilty because we love our children deeply and know how lucky we are.

But gratitude doesn't cancel out overwhelm.

You can absolutely adore your family and still feel exhausted.

You can be deeply grateful for your life and still find it incredibly heavy some days.

Those things are allowed to exist together.

Something that helped me make sense of my own overwhelm was learning a little more about how our nervous system works. When we've been under stress for long periods of time, our brain starts treating almost everything as though it's urgent. Suddenly the dishes feel urgent. The washing feels urgent. The unanswered email feels urgent. The mess on the kitchen bench feels urgent. Every little task arrives with the same level of importance, and before long your brain doesn't know which one deserves your attention first.

That's often the moment we freeze.

We're not lazy, and it’s not that we don't care. It’s our nervous system doing exactly what it's designed to do when it thinks we're under threat, it's trying to protect us.

I think that's the part we don't talk about enough. We spend so much time looking for better planners, better routines and better ways to become more productive, when sometimes what we actually need is a way to help our body feel safe again.

For me, that starts with something incredibly simple.

Before I tackle the to-do list, before I reorganise my entire life or convince myself I just need to work harder, I stop and take three slow, deep belly breaths.

That's it. Three breaths.

I know it sounds almost too simple to make any real difference, and honestly, I used to think the same thing. But I've realised we're often trying to think our way out of overwhelm while our body is still completely overwhelmed. Those three breaths don't magically solve my problems, but they create a tiny pause. A moment where my shoulders soften, my breathing slows and my body gets the message that maybe, just maybe, everything doesn't need to be solved in the next five minutes.

Sometimes nothing changes except that I feel one percent calmer.

And I've learnt not to underestimate what one percent can do.

Download Resiliently App for free to gently track your three daily belly breaths each day + receive daily affirmations on your lock screen

Healing doesn't always arrive in huge life-changing moments. More often than not, it shows up in tiny, repeated moments where we gently remind ourselves that we're safe, supported and allowed to slow down.

That's actually why I made the Three Deep Belly Breaths tracker inside the Resiliently app completely free. I wanted every woman, regardless of whether she ever became a member, to have something simple she could return to whenever life felt like too much. Alongside that, you'll also receive a free daily affirmation each morning because sometimes the words we most need aren't complicated at all. Sometimes we simply need someone to remind us that we're doing better than we think.

If there's one thing I hope you take away from this today, it's this… You are not overwhelmed because you're weak or because you're failing. You're overwhelmed because you've been carrying so much, for so long.

So maybe today doesn't have to be about catching up on everything, maybe today can simply be about putting a little bit of that weight down.

The washing will still be there tomorrow, the emails can wait another half hour.

Take your three deep breaths, drink your coffee while it's still warm, and remind yourself that you're allowed to be supported too.

Love, Samantha x